Too busy lying. Too busy doing other shit to have time for me. Too busy to work through problems so you chose to ignore me. But now, I’m too busy. Too busy loving someone else.
…was it possible that the mere fact of using one’s hands and investing one’s attention in someone other than oneself, created a pride and tenderness that had nothing whatever to do with the response of the object of one’s care—just as a craftman’s love for his handiwork is in no way diminished by the fact of it being unreciprocated?
-Amitav Ghosh, Sea of Poppies
Like a book from
the library, you check
me out, you read me,
you have me open wide
baring everything that
I have to offer.
You borrowed my heart
for your own entertainment
and then you returned me.
You leave fingerprints on
me, and I leave my story
I feel like this. But sometimes I don’t want to be checked out & returned. I want someone to love my work so much they’ll buy me. You know, so I can be with them forever. I want to be someone’s favorite work of art, the one that you love so much that everytime you read it, it hurts to put it down. I want to be so loved that after he’s done reading me, we’ll just start writing the sequel together.
I blog for myself. I blog because sometimes after a long day of note-taking in classes, homework, and study guides I need to give my hand a break and type my thoughts out. I blog because I know my friends get tired of hearing me talk so I give their ears a break. Sometimes I just need to get it out of my system, so I blog and hope that someone gains something from it at the same time.
That it’s going to be a good day until I start believeing it, then I will.
I decided in DECEMBER I was going to do 365 days of thanks. It’s March & I’ve done like 10! Do better Jessica.
Day 11: (March 6, 2013). I’m thankful for the “snow” (that I don’t see) because it closed school, I missed my Pialtes midterm and now I have all day to study for the 2 finals I have tomorrow.